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Operating INSTRUCTIONS - for my widowed man ( Hans Neuhart )
Intended audience: The woman who is thinking of replacing me - after selection by my sad man.
Welcome. If YOU got this far - he must like you - a bunch.
He's probably been very sad - for some time. Just - out of habit. His life was VERY disrupted - by my passing.
We were together - since 1982. It took only weeks - for me - to separate - him - from the "other girls" - [that] were tryin' to stake their claim.
I do NOT know - why "they" call women like me "cougars". I do know [that] our co-workers (at NCR) observing it - found it amusing.
Why am I doing this? My Mom - was very-VERY sad - when, my Dad passed - and, they knew it was coming for some months.
Hans didn't have any "Early Warning" with me. Strokes are like that. In fact, up to the end - I was doing halasanas. ( That's a YOGA Pose )
Here are the things you need to know:
1. He can cook - but, he prefers for you to do it. ( He might never tell you this - if, you are a good cook. )
2. He'll eat oats every other day. He likes them done in milk - with a pat of real butter. A dash of salt.
Go 6 minutes - very hot milk - and stirring the entire time.
And, drain them [ with the big hole-ee spoon] into a cereal bowl.
( https://m.media-amazon.com/images/S/aplus-media/vc/2cf604c8-48a8-4ef8-9583-3023c5d4d128.__CR0,0,970,600_PT0_SX970_V1___.jpg )
Let him put his real maple syrup on. He does not like granulated sugar.
He prefers a small spoon [to dine] - AND, he will not eat a banana.
3. He does not know how the washing machine starts. This was by MY design.
I'd chuckle - whenever he'd inquire. The washer was my "rice bowl". I learned about euphemistic "rice bowls" - at the NCR Corporation [Cambridge, Ohio E&M - circa 1983].
Owen and Roy [former military] - and, my co-workers - thought it funny (odd) [that] I wanted to help the food server "clear the table" - at the "lunch bar" by the Rail Road tracks.
( https://guernseycountyhistory.com/category/local-history/ )
"Stealing her 'rice-bowl' missy -that's what you are doing." They'd say - and laugh. Actually - I had tried my hand at waitressing AND bartending. I failed at both*. But, helping another girl "clear the table" seemed natural (to me). I grew up in a family of seven - and "doing the dishes" was my job.
*As a "waitress" - I threw a glass of water on a guy - at a 6-top table - at the Green Bay, Wisconsin Holiday Inn. The other 5 guys - just laughed and left me over $100 - as a TIP. He deserved it (IMO). But, management was not pleased.
As a "bartender" (in college) - most of the UWGB fellas wanted to be in my line - for a beer. And, my "boyfriend" - a hunter, trapper, fisherman AND former Iowa State University wrestler - would glower - at them. He liked to fight - on the parking lot - under the light. This "glower" was his invitation.
Back to Owen and Roy ...  NCR - Cambridge, Ohio E&M employees - would pile into that bar - at lunch time. Hans would order "beer" - and, a "fried bologna sandwich".
I was a "Software Engineering Technical Writer" - for the new NCR platform product ["PROGRAMMABLE via "ETS-B"] - being sold. [ https://www.ncr.com/about/history ]
( NCR 9300, the industry’s first 32-bit VLSI mainframe, is released. ) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NCR_Corporation
I got the job - right out of college - because I could "program" computers - even better than men. I was a "natural" - as they say.
In fact, my Mom was informed - of this - during the "Cold War"; That is, they [the testers] told my Mom: "Mrs. CassAdy - she has a language ability."
I did NOT care for Spanish or French - but, making a machine "do - what I wanted it to" - that was fun (for me)
[ https://www.apa.org/monitor/2018/04/cover-thinking-machine ]
4. Hans will keep an eye on the laundry - and carry the filled basket (to the washer and dryer pair - in the basement for you).
It's a tip-off [that] he's thinking about the laundry.
He will put the clean, wet clothes - into the dryer. If reminded, he will give them a "fluff"- for a second run.
(This is a great source of amusement - for him -As he does NOT believe in "fluffs".)
TIP: His name is "Hans" - but, I taught him to "strut" & "swagger".
Growing up in a very small town [ New Concord, Ohio ] - with no black people - he'd never even seen it.
I learned - and, was approved - by the girls [that] I cheered with - at [Columbus, Ohio] Starling Junior High School.
I cheered with black girls - because, Beth and me went to Mr. Calvin Parks. They were the absolute best - at everything required:
Russian jumps, cartwheels, splitz, backbends - just everything! Our football, basketball and softball teams would lose - sometimes;
but, we were the "best" cheerleaders! A boy - that liked me - won the Columbus City wrestling Champion-ship.
Again, he was a white boy - but, black boys taught him to be the best.
5. Tide detergent works best for Hans. Please don't over-fill the washer. A good & even agitation and rinse works best.
6. You can tease the heck out of him. For example: Growing up with 4 bothers (and no sisters) - he was taught [that] girls don't fart.
So, have some fun with this. I did. His rich - race horse raising family - was suspicious of me. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPf8k13Cy-U )
"1973" "Little Brown Jug" Melvins Woe :: http://www.mthopeauction.com/sites/default/files/2015%20Fall%20Draft%20Catalog%20Book.pdf
I had a nine-year girl - and, was 5 years older.
Add a BS college degree - from UWGB - in "Environmental Science"...
What the hell is she? His brothers - had wives. They were all practicing "CHRISTIANS". I admitted to being a "doubter".
AND, I was not ashamed - of having sex - with him. As a practical matter - I had to let it be known - "He was mine!" Other girls wanted him.
The Iowa State University wrestler - showed up - at a house - we were sleeping in. And, we smoked "weed" - out by the Salt Fork State lodge.
7. Those big speakers - beside the "big screen TV" - are there - because - he likes music. Loud music.
He knows Rock - the "Stones" etc. - through and through - but will try any music. I grew up on soal music: Temptations, Supremes, Aretha...
8. If you want to dance naked - I do not know;
But, he did like to watch me do it.
( Please do not interupt him - with naked dancing - when he is doing his free-weight routine.)
9. He likes lunch - about 2PM. Make him a green ice berg lettuce salad. Serve it with Balsalmic Vinegar, French AND Ranch dressings - and croutons. NO cheese. He uses a fork. Milk is a big deal. He likes it fresh and cold. And, he will drink it - from a clean cup or glass. He can "chug milk" - like a teenager; but, does not do this - unless requested.
10. Go for it girl! If you treat him right - I will not haunt you.